Always Thinking...
Author: Evvie

Oy. I'm going to teach all of you the best recipe ever. For this recipe, you're not going to want to dress nicely, like the hot guy in the picture above has. What is Ramanza? Hold the fuck on, that's what this article is for! Shit. Rest assured it is delicious.

For this delectable dish you will need the following:

(From left to right)

  • A sweet see-through green plate. Or any kind of plate that will hold food on it.

  • 2 Mini pizzas.

  • Ketchup.

  • Hot sauce a.k.a. "sex flavor."

  • Mayo.

  • Salt.

  • Pepper.

  • Salt & Vinegar popcorn flavoring.

  • Dill pickle popcorn flavoring (I can hear you saying "ew" stay with me though)

  • Regular spoon, the tool of lords.

  • 2 packages of sliced cheese. 2 slices of real cheese would be better, or sprinkle cheese. All I had was the processed stuff.

  • Pot with water in it.

  • 1 package of Ramen instant noodles, with the chicken flavor package inside.

  • Olive oil. I think it's olive oil anyway.

  • Wooden spoon (good for spankings as well)

  • Something to strain water with (not pictured, because my pot has a built in strainer. Because I'm a master chef and all that)

  • Oh, and a stove.

Once you have all of your ingredients ready, put the pot on the stove and set it to the maximum heat setting. Then, take the two mini pizzas out of the package and put them on the plate. Throw them in the microwave and just mash the "pizza" button a few times (which I use to cook everything) If your microwave doesn't have a pizza setting, get with the times. Let the two things do their business. If you have a shitty stove like mine that takes hours to boil water you may want to do one of the following things:

1. Watch a lame Hollywood movie based off of classic literature that will totally ruin the book for you. 2. Organize your entire family's photo album collection by date and time. 3. Call all your friends and tell them "I'm makin' RAMANZA!" If they're not excited, they're not really your friends.

After you do one of those things the water should almost be at a boil so go stand by the stove and be ready for it. Once it's boiling tear open the noodle package and drop the chunk of noodles into the boiling water. Shake out any broken off pieces of the noodles (so you can get your full 50 cents a package worth) Grab your wooden spoon and poke at the hard noodles until they soften and break apart on their own. Most likely the maximum setting will be too high and you'll have to turn the temperature down. Turn it down just enough so that the water doesn't boil over. Do this until the noodles look doneish, then turn the stove off and put the lid on your pot.

Go back to your mini pizzas in the microwave and re-heat them while you strain the water from the noodles. Once the water is strained take the ketchup and the hot sauce and put just a few squirts in. Then, with the mayo put one spoon full in. A dash of salt, pepper, dill pickle flavoring and salt and vinegar flavoring, and we're almost done. Next, take the cheese and rip it up into little pieces and sprinkle it around in the pot. Your mini pizzas should be done now. Take them out of the microwave and cut one up into bite sized squares, then dump it into the pot with the other ingredients. Throw on some more pepper, then mix all of the ingredients together really well until everything has formed an orange bliss.

Center the other mini pizza on the plate and dump the Ramanza on top of it. It should look something like this:

Let's eat this motherfucker.

Trust me, this shit is SO GOOD.

So there you go, you no longer have to go around saying "I can't make any good food" because now, you can make the best food. Ramanza is very filling, I ate it earlier today at noon and I'm still full (it's now 11:30pm) Just a note; there are other recipes you can make out of this, like Sex noodles, which is when you don't have any main ingredient besides the noodles. There's also Charmin, for when you want to replace the mini pizzas with chicken pieces. Go nuts with this, and tell me if you make anything sweet.

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