Free Willy = Best Movie Ever

The best damn movie on the face of the planet would defiantly be Free Willy. There is just no notable competition. I young boy by the age of 12 becomes best friends with a fucking 6000lb orca whale. I mean the only way this could get any more original, would be if the whale could talk! You know what should have happened in this piece of shit movie? That fat fuck whale should have landed his fat ass on that little dimwitted brat that thought the whale liked him. He should have splattered that little homo's guts all over those jagged rocks and turned his ass into chum. Then a fucking shark should have came and shit all over those guts so sea gulls would fucking puke all over them instead of eating them, and then I should have rolled up in my fucking pirate canoe and beat the shit out of that useless hunk of lard whale and rescued some hot babes from that nasty giant bitch-eating shark. After all this, the fucking doors on the theatre should have locked all those family-movie-going fuckers in, and then slowly started its self on fire and burned those assholes to death while they were forced to watch a school of flounders rape the dead whale while some bum jerked off in the background. During all this time some subtitles should have been telling the faggot audience that they are a bunch of assholes and that this would be them if they didn't fucking stop going to family-movies. I don't know what that means but who cares.













you'll never amount to anything you dirty dirty fuck